I have been involved in the BDSM lifestyle for several years.  Have been in the scene for over 10 years. Yes, pre-internet.  The last two with my live in slave and lover, erin. My desire is to write about the good, the bad, the ugly and the misunderstood aspects of BDSM as a lifestyle.

What can you expect from me?  I am not known to sugarcoat things, or be nice just for the sake of being nice.  I have an opinion and I will express it.  I expect those around me to do the same... We all have choices in this life and live according to those choices. 

For others, we have come to realize we have deeper needs that need filling.  Some desire to live life as a submissive, a slave or chattel. To offer our body, mind and soul to someone special.  To allow others have control over our lives.  To be viewed as their property.  While others have an inner need to be in control.  To be the Dom, Master or Supreme Being.  To be the one another person entrusts to train, control and use them in a special way.  Here is where the lines and the images get blurred.  All on a 24 hours, 7 day a week basis.

Contrary to popular belief, as a Master, I do not keep my slave naked, kneeling at my feet in chains or leather restraints.  She does not drink from a bowl on the floor or is whipped and beat every night (she would like it tho!).  She is allowed to wear clothing outside the house, permission is granted to leave the house and lead a somewhat normal life. We have jobs to hold down, bills to pay and people in the vanilla world to interact with.  But her soul and her thoughts are on her Master and her commitment to serve and to please him in all that she does. 

Being in the BDSM lifestyle, also a lot of similarities of  the swinging lifestyle. The Internet has changed the scene for good and for bad.  The BDSM scene has various levels, many definitions and a variety of fetishes within the fetish.  For us, we indulge in ponyplay.  But that is another story later.

To be in a successful and growing Master/slave relationship, takes a deeper level of commitment, understanding and communication, than in an ordinary Vanilla relationship. Trust, honesty, openness and communication, are the cornerstones.  I have always believed that if the vanilla relationships had the same level of communication and trust, that we have in our lifestyle(s) the divorce rate would be cut in half.

When I speak of a Maser/slave relationship, I am speaking from the TPE point of view.  Total Power Exchange.  The other form is called EPE, Emotional Power Exchange.  She is mine to own and control in all aspects.  It does not start or end at the bedroom doors. (that is EPE) It carries on in all parts of our lives, .

Some compare the Master/slave relationship to an old fashioned marriage on speed. In some ways, they are right....  She wraps her life around that of her Master's and does as he desires.  That whole "love, honor and obey"  Taken literally.  For the Master, it is the "Love, cherish and protect" that we commit to.  In the vanilla world, you really don't meet too many wives  would allow their husbands to bend them over the bed and paddle their ass red when they mess up or forget something minor like the proper pillow arrangement on the day bed.

As you see, the BDSM lifestyle, mirrors in many ways, the swingers lifestyle.  I hope to shed more light on the topics and if you have any questions, please feel free to send them my way....

Sir Anthony