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Mark Anthony Sir Anthony master@myponygirl.com http://www.myponygirl.com Motto: "I pulled the trigger and rode the bullet" I have been
involved in the BDSM lifestyle for several years. Have been in the scene for
over 10 years. Yes, pre-internet. The last two with my live in slave and
lover, erin. My desire is to write about the good, the bad, the ugly and the
misunderstood aspects of BDSM as a lifestyle. |
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Start with the proper marketing.....
From hanging around people from various lifestyle groups, I get the feeling what I am about to discuss happens with just about any group out there. Just the names have been changed and the wording is different. The meaning is still the same... On the average, I get 3 to 5 ISO requests a week. That's just the private ones. More get posted to the groups every day. It starts out with a friendly "hello, how are you? Saw you online/your website/your column/whatever and thought you could help me." Followed by "I am a healthy, wealthy and sane Dom who is looking for a slave to train. Know anybody available?" My reply may seem a bit insulting, it is meant to be. "Yea sure buddy, got one here chained to the basement door. Didn't know what I was going to do with her, but since you asked, I guess I will hand her over to you.... What's your address and I will have her shipped over today?" Lets get real!! Or worse, you have the poster. This is the one that scares me and gives the people in the BDSM community a bad image. "Experienced Dom commands all submissive females needing training to respond immediately to me at ... Send naked picture and your description." As if out there in cyberville, is a waiting female submissive who just happens to realize, because she and another waiting and wanting submissive, were discussing over lunch their need for more training. And we all know there is such a shortage of available Dom's out there able and willing to provide such a service. And this nice Dom has posted the ad she has been waiting for. Of course these kind of troller never has a profile, nobody heard of them before and they never say anything about themselves in the post. Just demand that the submissive send them details and a photo. Are these people serious? Have they never heard of the phrase "Success is marketing, all else is commentary??" Now that the BDSM theme and the leather fetishes are all the rave out in the nightclubs, people get the idea that a wanting slave is just a mouse click away. That the obedient dream slave; the domestic by day, slut by night, submissive is just waiting beside her keyboard for the first available Dom that sends his ugly, blank profile, yahoo email address their way. Sorry Charlie. The ratio of available Dominant to available submissive is very large. Want to stay hetro? that gap gets HUGE. Besides, the whole safe sane and consensual thing.... Doesn't happen over one email. It takes time. Dating in the BDSM world is like any other dating scene. It takes wooing and it takes marketing. Finding and dating a submissive is not like going to a pet store and picking the cutest one to take home. It is a two way street and it takes a little work mixed with a little time. You need to click with her and she needs to click with you. Everybody comes into this game from a different path of knowledge and experiences. Thinking of posting a want ad? Better to sell yourself than request instant obedience. Tell them who you are, what your like and what you would like to find. Tell them why and maybe some background on your experience. If your new to this, say that upfront. Its amazing, but honesty works pretty well when you are wanting the other party to bow down to you and deliver her unquestioned loyalty. Better yet, get some experience in the local community. Get out and away from the computer. Attend some events, talk to others and mingle. Have some drinks and lively chatter with many people. Let them see you for you and learn about you. The best way to meet is to be introduced. Now I know what some of you are saying. "Gosh, this sounds familiar!" It does, its called vanilla dating. I believe that if something works , why change? Now a word to the other side. Those seeking the dream Dom. Hey, if he has to beat his own chest, and explain how wonderful he is as a Dom, RUN, run fast in the opposite direction in which he came. Now, if this man shows up for the first public meet and he is dressed... well... normal... don't be disappointed. We Dom's are human and have to live in the real world. Where you should be too. Want success in the lifestyle? Start with the proper marketing. Want help in your search? drop me a line, always willing to help. Keep the emails coming. Will start posting the questions and my answers soon. Along with a new pic of me and my slave/fiancée Take care and have a great month. Sir Anthony Your comments, questions and concerns are always welcomed. |
Past Columns
Perception
My turn to rant!
What Do I Mean BDSM as a lifestyle?
B.D.S.M. LIFESTYLE
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