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Mark Anthony Sir Anthony master@myponygirl.com http://www.myponygirl.com Motto: "I pulled the trigger and rode the bullet" I have been
involved in the BDSM lifestyle for several years. Have been in the scene for
over 10 years. Yes, pre-internet. The last two with my live in slave and
lover, erin. My desire is to write about the good, the bad, the ugly and the
misunderstood aspects of BDSM as a lifestyle. |
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Perception A nasty thing when the vanilla world and the “lifestyle” worlds meet....
There you are, in the bar talking to your vanilla friend. He finds out or has heard rumor that you like to tie your wife up and beat her with a leather whip. You look at him and say “yea, and the problem is????” Your friends jaw hit the floor and eyes bug out. “You Beat Your Wife?” Most other lifestyle choices today, are tolerated, if not flat out accepted by mainstream, vanilla America. But BDSM?? Nope, that’s still clumped in with abuse. Abuser, woman hater, slave driver, spousal victim abuse. Pervert (in the bad way). Your friend could have found out through the gossip mill that you were gay, cross dresser or the king of all lifestyles…. A wife swapper…. And they would buy you a beer and say “cool”…. But Domination? Hmmm…. Does not matter if it were consensual, that she was the one who wanted the domination or loves the feel of the lash….. Most courts, most of society, still has the perception that no right minded person could ever become a submissive by choice. They still see it as abuse and submission is out of fear… Now, of course, most people all they think about is the whips, chains and the submission in sexual terms… Not the commitment to serve, be trained to please and general Master/slave context. Nope, they see the sex, the whips, the leather… you get the picture… So, how do you explain the love of submission, the power of domination and the difference between good pain and bad pain?? With a simple little experiment… Lets say, you are a man in an honest relationship, that has good (vanilla standards) communication and trust with your partner. There she is,,,, the love of your life and the one woman who puts a rise in your boxers… At the kitchen sink, washing dishes…. You walk up to her and swat her on the ass. Not hard, but not a love swat. Something in the middle. Chances are her reaction will be one of surprise, and maybe a bit of enjoyment. A little moan or “ohhh” comes from her lips…. She smiles at you and says to “do it again big boy”. A good pain. Now, same scene but me, being a friend of yours, go and do the same thing. Instead of an “Ohhh” from her, I get a “Ouch” followed closely by a “What the Fuck??” Same action, different reaction. Bad pain. So your buddy in the bar hears the whole story and gets it in his head that she will do ANYTHING for her Master (perception) . Not understanding what was just explained to him about bad and good pain… The general population hears of a woman submitting to her man… they think it is out of fear not out of love and trust. The perception… Yes, the slave will submit and release. Only because she has come to trust the Dom and knows he will not put her in harms way or issue a command that is dangerous and stupid to her, to him and to the relationship. The Master and the slave have communicated enough she knows he will tell her things Your friend sees the sex, the submission the power and the leather. Your slave sees the erotic, the trust, the adventure and the ability to go in her mind, places she has never been before. You see a loving relationship, a confused friend and a happy lady to sleep with! Ahhh… The perception of it all!! Keep the emails coming. Will start posting the questions and my answers soon. Along with a new pic of me and my slave/fiancée Take care and have a great month. Sir Anthony Your comments, questions and concerns are always welcomed. |
Past Columns
My turn to rant!
What Do I Mean BDSM as a lifestyle?
B.D.S.M. LIFESTYLE
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